you can build it with a butter knife

Before my husband left we ordered a futon for my new roommate who is moving in tomorrow. Because the futon would be delivered after my husband left and because it came disassembled, I asked "is it easy to build" "You could build it with a butter knife", the futon man assured me. Now suggesting that the futon could be built with a butter knife does not imply that it is easy to build rather it implies that only simple tools are needed to build the thing. I did not point out this discrepancy.

I thought that I might be able to pay the delivery men extra to build the futon but when they dropped it off in my foyer and I asked them to move it upstairs they looked like they would rather die. So asking them to build it was out of the question. I would have to build it myself.

Bob the Builder
Can we fix it?
Bob the Builder
Yes, we can!

I painstakingly followed the directions, knowing that one mistake could be costly. Some of the steps were difficult to do with only one person but I thought of my grandmother who always comes up with a unique way to accomplish tasks despite her arthritic hands. (For example she uses her stomach to push a snow shovel because she can't do it with her hands). When I needed to keep a plank level and suspended, I balanced one end on a pile of books so that I could attach the other end of the plank.

I did so well until I got to the final step, step five. No matter how hard I tired I couldn't attach the two parts of the futon as depicted in the image. It just was not physically possible. I tried attaching the pieces in another way which worked to some extent but the the futon would not open. Stupid step five.

When my (male) room mate got home I asked him for help. He agreed that what I was trying to do was not possible. "But it said to do it like this in the directions" I said. "The directions are always wrong" he said matter of factly and proceeded to defy the directions and fix the problem.

This situation reminded me of Jim Gee's description of training phase in Tomb Raider. The professor gives Laura Croft instructions to remain on the path; however by defying instructions, players can earn the maximum points. I think that guys learn early in life that rules are not only made to be broken but that it can be advantageous to ignore the rules. I would suck at Tomb Raider.

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